What is different about today? For the last 3 hours I have had no nausea, I know it isn't over yet, but I also know from experience that this means my hormones have probably finally peaked and are headed the other direction.
We saw our little one once again yesterday. He/she measured 4 days ahead and looked so perfect. My heart melts every ultrasound. I can't wait to feel the baby move. It is so hard to grasp that there is a living being growing and moving inside of me until I either see them on ultrasound or feel them. We are so blessed and pray everything continues to go well. This is truly a miracle.
I can't express enough how grateful I am for my husband, he hasn't had a home cooked meal from me for so long, and helps out so much. I also adore our little girl and her sweet personality. She is such a sweet spirit and is really looking forward to having her own REAL baby.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Our first FET
I am typing this now 6 weeks pregnant, we don't want to post anything until we are ready for the world to know. On November 7th we transferred 3 embryos, 2 rated good and 1 rated fair due to some cell loss when thawed. About 5 days after the transfer I used one of these cheap pregnancy tests I had left over. I didn't think much about it until I looked briefly and saw a very faint second line. I couldn't believe it, even My hubby saw it. So, the whole day I couldn't stop thinking about whether I had actually seen a real line. The next morning was Sunday and I tried one of those cheap tests again, but did not see a line this time. We had also bought some more expensive accurate tests the day before, but I didn't want to waste them if they were going to be negative anyway. So we discussed what we would do if this cycle didn't work and had a solemn day at church. We received the most amazing blessings while being set apart for our new callings. We both cried and were so grateful for the words we heard.
When we returned from church I went to use the bathroom, and without even really thinking grabbed one of the expensive pregnancy tests, to my utter shock it had turned positive immediately. At this point I was similar to someone who would still be waiting for a period another 3 days or so. It is considered 6 days post 5 day transfer. So still very early. I immediately shared the news with a very excited hubby.
On 8 days post 5 day transfer my first beta result for hcg in the blood was 70. This would normally be about 1-2 days before a woman would expect her period. My next beta result 48 hours later was 250. A normal doubling time for a beta in early pregnancy is about 48 hours. My doubling time was just over 24 hours. Very reassuring so far.
At about 5 weeks 2 days the nausea started, which is something we pray for. I have never been sick with any of my miscarriages, so nausea is very reassuring. My 3rd beta level at 5 weeks and 5 days or 21 days post 5 day transfer was 20,839. A very good and HIGH level.
So here I am 6 weeks 1 day, sick all day and night pretty much. My little girl is doing her best to help me out and tries bringing me little snacks and much love. She will be the best big sister. I'm actually really glad they will be spaced almost 3 years. So, here's hoping for some more good news with our ultrasound December 8.
When we returned from church I went to use the bathroom, and without even really thinking grabbed one of the expensive pregnancy tests, to my utter shock it had turned positive immediately. At this point I was similar to someone who would still be waiting for a period another 3 days or so. It is considered 6 days post 5 day transfer. So still very early. I immediately shared the news with a very excited hubby.
On 8 days post 5 day transfer my first beta result for hcg in the blood was 70. This would normally be about 1-2 days before a woman would expect her period. My next beta result 48 hours later was 250. A normal doubling time for a beta in early pregnancy is about 48 hours. My doubling time was just over 24 hours. Very reassuring so far.
At about 5 weeks 2 days the nausea started, which is something we pray for. I have never been sick with any of my miscarriages, so nausea is very reassuring. My 3rd beta level at 5 weeks and 5 days or 21 days post 5 day transfer was 20,839. A very good and HIGH level.
So here I am 6 weeks 1 day, sick all day and night pretty much. My little girl is doing her best to help me out and tries bringing me little snacks and much love. She will be the best big sister. I'm actually really glad they will be spaced almost 3 years. So, here's hoping for some more good news with our ultrasound December 8.
Why is it called morning sickness.
I just don't get it. With my daughter and this pregnancy, the only time I feel fairly decent is in the morning. It all goes down hill the moment I start to eat. I can't be the only one who has day and night sickness without much morning sickness.
I am lying on the couch as my daughter sleeps, and all I can think is that I'm oddly so grateful I just feel like vomiting much of the day. Actually I am often surprised at how much nausea I can feel without tossing cookies.
So I've done some research on morning sickness in pregnancy. Nothing is absolutely conclusive, but it makes sense. Morning sickness does appear to have correlation with beta numbers. Although HCG doesn't cause the nausea, it directly affects the increase of the culprit hormones estrogen and progesterone. So does this mean that the lady who vomits all day has higher beta levels than me? No, I actually tend to have way above average betas, but do not vomit because it is not a part of my genetic makeup. We all have a center in our brains that controls the gag reflex. Some have a very sensitive trigger of the reflex while others do not. That is why you will see in some families the daughters and mother having similar experiences with their pregnancies. Some may dodge the curse in a badly afflicted morning sickness family by just not inheriting the mothers trait( its 50/50 right?). So, i thought that was interesting. My Mom, sister and I have all experienced morning sickness in a similar way, and none of us are pukers.
The other interesting thing that my doc studied was that morning sickness can often be a predictor at how well the placenta is attaching to the uterine lining, which also correlates with HCG levels. So appreciate your morning sickness, and blame your parents if you are miserably vomitting nonstop.
3 days till ultrasound....
I am lying on the couch as my daughter sleeps, and all I can think is that I'm oddly so grateful I just feel like vomiting much of the day. Actually I am often surprised at how much nausea I can feel without tossing cookies.
So I've done some research on morning sickness in pregnancy. Nothing is absolutely conclusive, but it makes sense. Morning sickness does appear to have correlation with beta numbers. Although HCG doesn't cause the nausea, it directly affects the increase of the culprit hormones estrogen and progesterone. So does this mean that the lady who vomits all day has higher beta levels than me? No, I actually tend to have way above average betas, but do not vomit because it is not a part of my genetic makeup. We all have a center in our brains that controls the gag reflex. Some have a very sensitive trigger of the reflex while others do not. That is why you will see in some families the daughters and mother having similar experiences with their pregnancies. Some may dodge the curse in a badly afflicted morning sickness family by just not inheriting the mothers trait( its 50/50 right?). So, i thought that was interesting. My Mom, sister and I have all experienced morning sickness in a similar way, and none of us are pukers.
The other interesting thing that my doc studied was that morning sickness can often be a predictor at how well the placenta is attaching to the uterine lining, which also correlates with HCG levels. So appreciate your morning sickness, and blame your parents if you are miserably vomitting nonstop.
3 days till ultrasound....
Another pregnancy milestone met
We finally had our 7 week ultrasound today. I now have a much greater chance of delivering a healthy baby. It measured perfect with a beautiful heartbeat. I didn't realize how much I had been stressing about twins until after this ultrasound. I don't understand why everyone except my hubby and I wanted us to have twins. I guess we are the only ones who really have to think through the risks, the finances, and other hardships. It would be a blessing, but not something I pray for. I've seen to many pregnancies go horribly wrong and too many high need NICU babies to not think about the risks first.
Anyway, we are excited now that we know a little more. We decided a long time ago that if we had another singleton that we would not find out the sex. Now that should be exciting and interesting.
Morning sickness is still here. Funny, I don't remember it being so random, some days are horrible, sometimes just the evening or afternoon are horrible, and occassionally I have a great day with just mild nausea all day. Makes it hard to plan anything, yet I am grateful for this symptom, and that I don't have a face to face relationship with the porcelain throne.
Anyway, we are excited now that we know a little more. We decided a long time ago that if we had another singleton that we would not find out the sex. Now that should be exciting and interesting.
Morning sickness is still here. Funny, I don't remember it being so random, some days are horrible, sometimes just the evening or afternoon are horrible, and occassionally I have a great day with just mild nausea all day. Makes it hard to plan anything, yet I am grateful for this symptom, and that I don't have a face to face relationship with the porcelain throne.
Holding it in
So, we have finally let our exciting news out to just our immediate families. It is so hard not to be able to share our news with the world. I guess I am atleast glad I can talk about it at work. I have to let some people at work know, so that I'm not exposed to anything that could be harmful to the growing baby. Needless to say, word gets around. I was thinking about how with this pregnancy I have had such different emotions than I did with our daughter. I feel much more guarded and afraid to just be happy about it and think about the future. Everything seems to have been a whirlwind the last 3 months of our lives, from IVF failure, to moving twice, getting a new house, dealing with the old house, deep cleaning the new house in preparation for the transfer and now the pregnancy. I think everything is just setting in still. I love where we are now in life, but it just happened a bit too quickly.
I continue to have morning sickness, it is reassuring, but hard too. I know I would worry non-stop without it, so I won't complain.
So, my goal this week, is to finally get myself out of this funk and start instilling some Christmas cheer into my brain. I actually got dressed in normal clothes today, in anticipation of getting out of the house, but my daughter wasn't feeling so well, so we are putting our outing on hold.
I am so grateful for what this time of year celebrates, the birth of our Savior. He has infinite worth in my life, and is the one who has held our hands and upheld us through all of our trials. I hope my children will always associate Christmas with this wonderful Man and what His purpose was on this earth. Santa is fun, but it is really the spirit of Santa and his love and giving nature that is supposed to emulate that of a Savior who did it better than anyone else.
I continue to have morning sickness, it is reassuring, but hard too. I know I would worry non-stop without it, so I won't complain.
So, my goal this week, is to finally get myself out of this funk and start instilling some Christmas cheer into my brain. I actually got dressed in normal clothes today, in anticipation of getting out of the house, but my daughter wasn't feeling so well, so we are putting our outing on hold.
I am so grateful for what this time of year celebrates, the birth of our Savior. He has infinite worth in my life, and is the one who has held our hands and upheld us through all of our trials. I hope my children will always associate Christmas with this wonderful Man and what His purpose was on this earth. Santa is fun, but it is really the spirit of Santa and his love and giving nature that is supposed to emulate that of a Savior who did it better than anyone else.
We're in love
Today was our 9 week ultrasound. The baby measured a couple days ahead and looks just perfect. I love this ultrasound because it just feels so much more real to me when I see the little one moving around. It is such an amazing thing. My morning sickness is at its worst, but nothing could keep that smile off of my face. Oh, what a beautiful thing this is, a trial well worth the time and the pain. I knew there would be a day I could look at it that way. July 25, official due date, no questions because of the IVF. Miracle number two is on its way. I hope and pray everything continues to go smoothly.
Monday, November 21, 2011
It's not that easy
Just a look into the life of doing IVF or FET. For those who think, "what is the big deal", here is a LITTLE glimpse.
For my fresh IVF cycle, after 2 months of birth control pills, I began my stimulation protocol by injecting my abdomen every day with 2 medications. Those were to get my ovaries to grow several follicles instead of the normal "just one". After 7 days of that my ovaries were quite enlarged as there were over 100 follicles between the size of 10 mm to 20 mm each. The ovary is normally the size of a walnut... Then came the retrieval. You are knocked out for this part. Everyone was telling me how much better I would feel when I woke up with all of those eggs and follicles gone. Not so. I had so much pain in my left ovary, that I was actually comparing the pain to labor, yes, it hurt like crazy. Oh yeah, and they start your first of daily progesterone injections in the butt right after retrieval too. No big deal you think, well, if you could just picture a lumpy sore rump, that makes it difficult to walk, then you might think different. And that is every day until 10 weeks if you become pregnant. Then immediately after retrieval, I began to get OHSS, which I discussed in previous posts. Very uncomfortable and makes it difficult to breath, eat, or do much of anything. So this is a glorified version of it all. What isn't seen is the stress, the worry, the finances, and then the heart break when it doesn't work, and you wonder if it ever will.
For the FET, well, it shouldn't be as bad, at least not leading up to the embryo transfer. For the FET it is birth control for a month, then estrogen injections in the rump twice a week, but it is a very small amount of fluid, so no biggy. Starting 5 days before transfer though, you start those nasty progesterone injections every day as well. Only for a FET it is twice the dose, since the body doesn't produce any of the hormones to sustain pregnancy on it's own. And then, of course, there is the financial side, the emotional side, and the constant question "what if it doesn't work this time?" The heart and mind can only handle so much pain and upset. After a total of nearly 4 years of dealing with infertility, it gets old. This round has been especially rough because we know we are at the end of the ropes. I can't imagine never being pregnant again, or delivering another beautiful child into our lives. We want it so badly and try to do all the right things, but it just isn't that easy for us.
Anyway, there's a little insight. I would do anything to be able to try and conceive the old fashoined way and know that it can and will work. Most people don't even ever have to worry about it. Be grateful for that. Be grateful for your little ones. They are precious.
For my fresh IVF cycle, after 2 months of birth control pills, I began my stimulation protocol by injecting my abdomen every day with 2 medications. Those were to get my ovaries to grow several follicles instead of the normal "just one". After 7 days of that my ovaries were quite enlarged as there were over 100 follicles between the size of 10 mm to 20 mm each. The ovary is normally the size of a walnut... Then came the retrieval. You are knocked out for this part. Everyone was telling me how much better I would feel when I woke up with all of those eggs and follicles gone. Not so. I had so much pain in my left ovary, that I was actually comparing the pain to labor, yes, it hurt like crazy. Oh yeah, and they start your first of daily progesterone injections in the butt right after retrieval too. No big deal you think, well, if you could just picture a lumpy sore rump, that makes it difficult to walk, then you might think different. And that is every day until 10 weeks if you become pregnant. Then immediately after retrieval, I began to get OHSS, which I discussed in previous posts. Very uncomfortable and makes it difficult to breath, eat, or do much of anything. So this is a glorified version of it all. What isn't seen is the stress, the worry, the finances, and then the heart break when it doesn't work, and you wonder if it ever will.
For the FET, well, it shouldn't be as bad, at least not leading up to the embryo transfer. For the FET it is birth control for a month, then estrogen injections in the rump twice a week, but it is a very small amount of fluid, so no biggy. Starting 5 days before transfer though, you start those nasty progesterone injections every day as well. Only for a FET it is twice the dose, since the body doesn't produce any of the hormones to sustain pregnancy on it's own. And then, of course, there is the financial side, the emotional side, and the constant question "what if it doesn't work this time?" The heart and mind can only handle so much pain and upset. After a total of nearly 4 years of dealing with infertility, it gets old. This round has been especially rough because we know we are at the end of the ropes. I can't imagine never being pregnant again, or delivering another beautiful child into our lives. We want it so badly and try to do all the right things, but it just isn't that easy for us.
Anyway, there's a little insight. I would do anything to be able to try and conceive the old fashoined way and know that it can and will work. Most people don't even ever have to worry about it. Be grateful for that. Be grateful for your little ones. They are precious.
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